Up, Down and Around Our Town

The Up, Down and Around Our Town is written this week by John’s wife, Barb

Two months ago, I had the biggest shock of my life. I got up on this Saturday morning, not very late by my standards for a Saturday, but I knew I had lots to do because today our family was going to celebrate our sweet little Sasha’s birthday. Now her real birthday was the 13th, but Saturdays are always a great day for celebrations. So when I woke up about 8:15, I have to admit I lay in bed thinking about what I needed to do. I “knew” John always got up and walked early and then usually went to coffee with his coffee club, but I was pretty sure he would be back soon. So after thirty minutes of yawning, stretching, thinking about our day, and making the bed, I put on my favorite blue robe and started down the steps.

What I found was my dear husband sitting on the love seat in body only. It took no longer than two or three seconds to realize that John had left this world. My calls to him got no response and so I headed for the living room phone. I kept praying I was wrong and as I picked up the portable phone I went in to check again. As I touched his hand, it was cold and different. As I ran for the door, I dialed 911. I knew I needed someone before the ambulance arrived, so I headed for my neighbor’s side door. Since no one answered the door, I was standing in the front yard talking to the 911 operator. I was near hysteria by this point feeling like if I could just go back several hours and start again maybe this horrible mistake could come out differently.

The next thing that happened I will always know in my heart was God’s way of taking care of me. As I was trying to keep it together enough to talk to the operator, I looked up and saw this person walking up my driveway. Kim, I know you had a specific reason for driving through this neighborhood that Saturday morning, but I will always think it was twofold. Your kind voice and your strong arms kept me up. As she talked to me, I looked up and saw you, Laura, running across the street and into my yard. Laura, I know you were on your way to work, but you were a bit too far down. There is no doubt that God sent you, too.

By this time I had hung up with the operator and my two friends were listening to what had happened between my sobs and my words. When the operator called back and asked who they might call for me, I knew I didn’t want an emergency person to call my girls. I did feel the need for a man's help and so, Robert, you were the name I gave to the operator to call. It wasn’t long before you and Sarah Jean came walking quickly up the driveway.

Before Robert and his wife Sarah arrived, the fire truck, police cars and the ambulance came with that very loud, piercing sound that no one wants coming to their house until an emergency like this happens in your home. I have to say that I never once thought they were coming to save John. I had no doubt in my mind that John was gone. They “worked” on John for what seemed like a long time. Finally, they brought him out in "the bag.”

By then, Robert and Kim had gone to tell Sara and Mark. When they brought John out, Laura, being the nurse, said she would go to the hospital with John to take care of things there. Sarah, you were then my strength staying with me. I then tried to call Meredith’s husband Tim, and so when he answered his cell, I had to give him the daunting job of telling Meredith.

And so began the day that changed our family’s life forever. Soon my girls got there with their husbands and our little Wilson and Sasha and other close friends started coming. There are so many to name, but I can’t for fear I would forget someone. The calls to New York were so hard, but necessary. Soon John’s brother and sister-in-law and sister and brother-in-law and nephew were on their way. John’s mom was so sad, but for health reasons decided not to come.

I’ve never seen so much food brought by so many people pouring out their hearts to us. These two months have been an adjustment that I know has only just begun. I have learned that when someone you know well dies, how important it is to go to the living members of their family. Don’t worry about intruding or going at a bad time. The comfort comes from those you know and care about. Everyone that came or called, thank you, from the bottom of my heart! There were beautiful flowers at the funeral home that we enjoyed for days and days after the memorial service. Thank you for those remembrances. Thanks to all of you that stood in line for the visitation. I know it was long. We figured out that there were well over nine hundred people that came. At the end, I was exhausted, but also exhilarated by so many people that came bringing their condolences and love. Thanks to everyone that contributed to any of the memorials. Wow! What generosity from so many. If you haven’t heard from me yet, you will. I figured out that I have written to about eighty people, but still want to thank over three hundred more very kind and generous people. Thanks also to friends and family that drove or came great distances. I am glad that everyone returned home safely. Thanks, John and Dawn, for coming to do the service and being with us. You were wonderful, doing what you do best, ministering to those in need.

When I had to decide where to have the service, it did not come immediately, but after talking to friends and family, Culver Stockton College was John’s true love. He loved attending Culver, it is the place that allowed John to really find himself and give him a home away from home. Of course, we met there and stayed in Canton for several years. John worked there in Student Services before we left Canton and of course, he spent his last two and a half years teaching at Culver. Shirley, thanks for all the planning that you did to get this set up. Thanks also to the Culver Administration, mostly Joe Dieker, for your expert planning for the service.

Thanks family for everything. You never disappoint me. Sara, Mark, Wilson, Sasha, Meredith, Tim, Ginny, Norm, Linda, Brent, Allison, Frances, Bill, Sue, Martha, Gerry, Paul, Allison, Josh, Charlotte, and Julie, you kept me going when I needed you. My Aunt Betty and my many, many cousins who feel more like sisters and brothers, you will always be important to me.

Thanks to the Quincy Exchange Club and the Quincy Park Band for honoring John at one of their Wednesday night concerts. John loved being an Exchangite and was one for many years. He also loved the Quincy Park Band, emceeing several times when asked. My family and I really appreciated being a part of that evening. Also, Exchange Club and Jeff, thanks for the sincere and loving tribute you made to John at the Visitation. Jeff, you did this as wonderfully as John did when he did them.

Tonight and tomorrow, the local Alzheimer’s Association is honoring John’s service to that organization at the 2009 Alzheimer’s Pro Am Golf Tournament, Dinner, and Auction. This organization was close to John’s heart, because as many of you know, John’s dad died of complications from Alzheimer’s disease. My family and many friends will go tonight , some that will play golf tomorrow and some that will be attending the dinner and auction tonight. Thanks to all of you that could attend, as it means a lot to my family and to me. Thanks also to the board and office staff of the Alzheimer’s Association. John thought the world of all of you.

Finally, I can tell you that I will never be the same. John and I had wonderful things happen during our almost thirty eight years of marriage. We had some sad things happen too, but I would never give up any experience that we had while we were together. Many said they were sorry I had to find John. Actually, I feel blessed that John died at home and that I was the one that found him. So the good times and sad times were all a part of our loving experience. John was the person that kept me calm when I would get upset. More times than not, I would get upset by something someone said or did to our family. I would calm John down when he would get upset at inanimate objects, like snow that wouldn’t move or a computer that didn’t work. He was wise in ways I am not and vice versa, so yes, we complimented each other nicely. John’s favorite pastime was definitely playing golf. Some of our best times were playing together. He lovingly taught me how and never lost his patience with my total lack of skills. The summer I finally began to “get it’, he was proud. So tomorrow, Lanse, Steve, Mark, and Pete, when you get to the third or tenth hole, please take a minute to get a drink, either a beer, a sports drink, a soda, or water and give a toast to my dear, sweet husband and your great friend, because John always said that a bad day on the golf course was always better than a good day most anywhere else. Now, John is playing perfect golf and how happy that must be making him.

My best to everyone, I love you all. Barb Tripp